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Retirement

Retirement Quotes With Humor and Inspiration

Retirement Quotes With Humor and Inspiration
  • PublishedDecember 19, 2019

Investment U’s top 50 retirement quotes will fill you with joy and inspire you to improve your life. This major transition can be overwhelming or difficult and some individuals have found their own words to express that experience. Some of these quotes will make you laugh. Some will make you think. And others will encourage you to enhance your retirement lifestyle.

Life can get very hectic. The pace of life in general can make you restless. Retirement, however, is a transition in the opposite direction. As a retiree, you have the chance to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy every moment. This is a period of reflection, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. It’s a new stage in your life that should be celebrated, not feared.

51 retirement quotes for you

Retirement Quotes Can Guide You

It’s important to remember the adage, “Stop and smell the roses.” Many retirees forget this important step in the transition away from their professional lives. There is so much value in reflection. Taking a pause will not only help you better understand your past, but it can also help you find your path forward.

Building financial freedom in retirement is vital, but there are many aspects of life a retiree must consider. The retirement quotes below can help you fill in the gaps, so to speak, and answer any questions that you may have going forward in life.

25 Retirement Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

1. “Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.” – Author Unknown

2. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” – Jerry Seinfeld

3. “A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” – Ella Harris

4. “I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So, I do it three or four times a day.” – Gene Perret

5. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson

6. “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R.C. Sheriff

7. “Retirement is the world’s longest coffee break.” – Author Unknown

8. “Retirement: The pay sucks but the hours are great.” – Author Unknown

9. ”There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.” – Robert Half

10. “My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum-security prison in Hawaii.” – Julius Sharpe

11. “You’re retired – goodbye tension, hello pension.” – Author Unknown

12. “It’s a good, quiet retirement. Most days I do nothing, but it takes me all day to do it.” – Barry Wilkin

13. “I’m not just retiring from the company; I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock and my iron.” – Hartman Jule

14. “Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!” – Author Unknown

15. “Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret

16. “You have to put off being young until you can retire.” – Author Unknown

17. “What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.” – Author Unknown

18. “Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.” – Kellie Elmore

19. “When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez

20. “When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Author Unknown

21. “Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.” – Author Unknown

22. “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons

23. “Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi honey, I’m home – forever.” – Gene Perret

24. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

25. “A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell ‘em to get a life.” – Larry Laser

25 Retirement Quotes That Will Inspire You

26. “Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” – Patrick Foley

27. “Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.” – June Hartman

28. “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague

29. “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” – Fred Rogers

30. “Retirement is not the end of the road. It’s the beginning of an open highway.” – Author Unknown

31. “Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living.” – Danielle Duckery

32. “Retire from work, but not from life.” – M.K. Soni

33. “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it ‘retirement.’ I call it bliss.” – Betty Sullivan

34. “Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It means choice.” – Dianne Nahirny

35. “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J.A. West

36. “Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.” – Catherine Pulsifer

37. “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials – much to live on and much to live for.” – Author Unknown

38. “For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgement of all things.” – John Sharp Williams

39. “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

40. “As your life changes, it takes time to recalibrate, to find your values again. You kight also find that retirement is the time when you stretch out and find your potential.” – Sid Miramontes

41. “Time spent in laughter when one is retired is well invested.” -Author Unknown

42. “Retire the word ‘retirement’ from your vocabulary. Look it up: it means to ‘withdraw’ or ‘retreat.’ Words can shape reality, and it’s time for this one to go. Doesn’t ‘renaissance’ or ‘graduation’ or ‘transition’ better describe your post-career life?” – Marika Stone

43. “Don’t just retire from something; have something to retire to.” – Author Unknown

44. “The challenge to retirement is spending more time without spending more money.” – Author Unknown

45. “The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.” – George Foreman

46. “Planning to retire? Before your do, find your hidden passion. Do the thing that you have always wanted to do.” – Catherine Pulsifer

47. “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

48. “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but no so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements

49. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw

50. “Retirement’s the most wonderful thing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. After an extraordinary life, it’s time to enjoy my retirement.” – Patrick Macnee

Retirement Quotes to Live By

“The joy of retirement comes in those everyday pursuits that embrace the joy of life; to experience daily the freedom to invest one’s life-long knowledge for the betterment of others; and, to allocate time to pursuits that only received, in years of working, a fleeting moment.” – Byron Pulsifer

There are endless retirement quotes out there, but this one hits a little deeper. Everyone has to embrace this next phase of life to truly get the most out of it. There are numerous retirement destinations where you can not only save money, but also live life to the fullest.

The most tax friendly states for retirees in the U.S. today include Georgia, Florida and South Carolina. Furthermore, you can venture out West to California or Arizona, which are becoming more popular for retirees.

Financial Stability in Retirement

It’s becoming more difficult to retire when you want to. More and more people in the workforce are having to hold off retirement until their late 60’s or early 70’s.

Retirement quotes are a great way to see this stage of life through the eyes of others. However, you must find your own path as a retiree. To better prepare yourself financially for retirement, it’s important to make the right investments.

Written By
Corey Mann

Corey Mann is the Content Manager of Investment U. He has more than 10 years of experience as a journalist and content creator. Since 2012, Corey’s work has been featured in major publications such as The Virginian-Pilot, The Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC and more. When Corey isn’t focusing on Investment U, he enjoys traveling with his wife, going to Yankees games and spending time with his family.

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